When you're in line to the throne, you take this throne stuff seriously.

My qualifications for writing this post include the fact that I lived in Windsor, England, for a year, in the shadow of Windsor Castle, and for a year prior to that in London off Marleybone Street near St. James' Park. Brits everywhere will write me now saying I have said everything improperly. Sowwy! But my ancestors came over on the boat after the Mayflower… the June, July, or Augustflower? You're not smiling, chap. The Yank's not funny?

Well, neither are you if any of this is true. It's about England's Prince William, his one-time girlfriend Kate Middleton and Ms. Middleton's parents, with specific reference to Ms. Middleton's mom who, in a royal faux pas, apparently used the word– dare I repeat it? – toilet – versus using the Royal-T approved word "lavatory." Ms. Middleton's Mom by the way is a self-made millionaire. Just proves, don't it, that rich people gots to go, too, and that in times of need, our language can slip a wee bit, pun intended, unless you're already on the throne. But doesn't it always look (see image above) as though these royals could sympathize with this issue? That poor woman needs a… a… a… lavatory break quick!

Multiple papers said that Carole Middleton, Kate's mother, did not make a positive impression on William's inner circle, who did not believe her to be sufficiently upper class — …The Daily Telegraph reported that Carole Middleton's use of the word "toilet" rather than "lavatory", and use of the phrase "pleased to meet you" rather than "how do you do?" rubbed William's associates the wrong way.

You can read more of this regal fecal matter here. Keep in mind, it is all about the preferences of a long line of royal born who have a history of having one another killed, who can't stay loyal even if they're royal, and who disguise their last names when it becomes unpopular to be German. Basically, the Royal Family is a lucrative, government-sponsored tourist attraction that of late has made itself look foolish on a routine basis.

Queen forbid someone worth a… worth a… someone who made something out of herself, by herself, with her husband, should seek a toilet, which is what the darn thing is called 99% of the time in 100% of the world. Lavatory? Water closet? WC?

Now, truth be told, if my Princess, Her Royal Majesty, comes home years from now with a boy who's Mom says, "Hey, where be the crappah, dude?" I'll have my concerns. But I would politely show the woman to the lavatory, have a quite chat with the Queen Mom, instruct the staff, if we had any, to shut up about it, and hopefully let the next in line to the throne (pun not intended) decide for herself.

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The Internet Archive, otherwise known as the WayBackMachine, is a site where, in their own words, they are "…building a digital library of Internet sites and other cultural artifacts in digital form."

If you're like most people, you've probably never come across a genuine, living, breathing cultural artifact in digital form. But now you have… me. 

Here, for example, you can see that my first firm, Sterling Hager, Inc., the traditional PR agency, had a web site dating back to at least 1997. Since we were founded in 1984, I suspect we had something online earlier, but that could be senility setting in? Man, it's tough going down memory lane without one, a memory that is.

But based on this definition of an artifact, I'm not a happy person: …a handmade object, as a tool, or the remains of one, as a shard of pottery, characteristic of an earlier time or cultural stage, esp. such an object found at an archaeological excavation. That's me pictured above from the 2003 Sterling Hager, Inc. website. That thing tied around my neck and dangling downward was a common Inca custom of the period, or back in the day, as they say. I still look like this except no Inca fashionwear and I appear significantly younger (I'm in PR… this sort of nonsense is to be expected…)

So I am a tool, or the remains of one, from an earlier time and cultural stage? Well, actually, a lot of people wouldn't disagree. Where I differ is that I'm of this cultural time and place, too… or still?

The site reminds me of those CDs that family aunts make of old photos for online viewing at major clan gatherings. Everyone groans and then watches avidly, loving any glimpse of themselves getting a bath as a three year old in a galvanized five gallon pail. Shoot me they say… show me more they mean.

Those were good old days at Sterling Hager, Inc. from 1984 to 2003. I'm glad the Internet Archive has made them a part of the 85 billion pages they keep in their digital museum of old and broken tools. And by the way, I sign 8×10-inch black and white glossies of me, the digital artifact, for $10 a pop.

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