When you're in line to the throne, you take this throne stuff seriously.

My qualifications for writing this post include the fact that I lived in Windsor, England, for a year, in the shadow of Windsor Castle, and for a year prior to that in London off Marleybone Street near St. James' Park. Brits everywhere will write me now saying I have said everything improperly. Sowwy! But my ancestors came over on the boat after the Mayflower… the June, July, or Augustflower? You're not smiling, chap. The Yank's not funny?

Well, neither are you if any of this is true. It's about England's Prince William, his one-time girlfriend Kate Middleton and Ms. Middleton's parents, with specific reference to Ms. Middleton's mom who, in a royal faux pas, apparently used the word– dare I repeat it? – toilet – versus using the Royal-T approved word "lavatory." Ms. Middleton's Mom by the way is a self-made millionaire. Just proves, don't it, that rich people gots to go, too, and that in times of need, our language can slip a wee bit, pun intended, unless you're already on the throne. But doesn't it always look (see image above) as though these royals could sympathize with this issue? That poor woman needs a… a… a… lavatory break quick!

Multiple papers said that Carole Middleton, Kate's mother, did not make a positive impression on William's inner circle, who did not believe her to be sufficiently upper class — …The Daily Telegraph reported that Carole Middleton's use of the word "toilet" rather than "lavatory", and use of the phrase "pleased to meet you" rather than "how do you do?" rubbed William's associates the wrong way.

You can read more of this regal fecal matter here. Keep in mind, it is all about the preferences of a long line of royal born who have a history of having one another killed, who can't stay loyal even if they're royal, and who disguise their last names when it becomes unpopular to be German. Basically, the Royal Family is a lucrative, government-sponsored tourist attraction that of late has made itself look foolish on a routine basis.

Queen forbid someone worth a… worth a… someone who made something out of herself, by herself, with her husband, should seek a toilet, which is what the darn thing is called 99% of the time in 100% of the world. Lavatory? Water closet? WC?

Now, truth be told, if my Princess, Her Royal Majesty, comes home years from now with a boy who's Mom says, "Hey, where be the crappah, dude?" I'll have my concerns. But I would politely show the woman to the lavatory, have a quite chat with the Queen Mom, instruct the staff, if we had any, to shut up about it, and hopefully let the next in line to the throne (pun not intended) decide for herself.

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